Monday, March 28, 2011

Femmie little butch, or butchie little femme?

As many of you know, as an erotic author I have the distinct pleasure of conducting research for my books. Relax! I always keep my dick in my pants, that’s not the kind of relationship that wifey and I have.

During my research, I’ve learned about some strange and interesting practices. Oh, I can hear it now…stop…save your breath. I am not condemning anyone or anything.

Hey, if you want to be put in an adult diaper that’s fine with me, as long as I don’t have to change it. More power to you, but that’s not what I’m discussing, here.

What I’m referring to is the confusion between the butch and femme roles. When in the hell did it get so damn convoluted?

I get it…I get the andy’s, the switch-hitters and the fence-walkers. I’ve heard it all, believe me, but every once in a while, someone throws a monkey cock into the equation.

It seems that new terms and new practices are evolving in our community on a daily basis. Switch, tweens, twinks, power femmes, hys and hyms. I can deal with that, but I have to draw the line somewhere…packing.

I held a conversation…research gathering…with an attractive young femme the other day. Tall, blonde, blue eyes, very feminine and drop dead gorgeous, until I noticed something odd. And, of course, if you know me, you know about my Key West experience and you know…I don’t beat around the bush, no pun intended.

“Is that a bulge in your dress?” I asked rather confused.

“Why, yes it is,” she proudly announced. “I bought it for this dress.”

Stop. Stop, right there. A femme packing? Under her dress? This couldn’t be real. Maybe I had died, not realizing it, and this was my hell. I completely understand role-playing and that’s not what I’m talking about here. Femme Tops play with strap ons. Why not, but to freaking pack, in public?

Now, that the image is burned into memory, I’m still not positive I’m not living in some sick rendition of hell, but the blogging and the writing must go on.

When and under what messed up circumstances did it occur to a femme that it would be a good idea to pack under her dress? Really? Wait…here’s a new term for you, from now on we could simply ask if someone is “a femmie little butch or a butchie little femme.” Huh, No! Not even joking…

Call me, old-fashioned, but I’ll stick to what I know, and what makes the most sense. Butch, Femme and Confused. Plain, simple and easy.


  1. Oh, dear sweet friend, One of my very favourite butches...I can only imagine the expression on your face when confronted with this most unusual situation. I must admit that I not only laughed at your discomfort I actually guffawed and I do apologize. The world holds more surprises than any of us could ever be ready for. Apparently you have been confronted by one such surprise. But I agree Plain, simple and easy is and always has been the best way to go.

  2. Wow, that is a situation I never would have foreseen. My mind is reeling with the possibilities here....

  3. Possibilities of a...plot, perhaps? LOL

    I'm all for people doing what they enjoy. Hell, I'm typically the first one out there screaming for their rights to do it, but this just took me by surprise.

    I'm old fashioned. I enjoy thinking about a woman (who chooses to wear a dress) in a certain way. Naked and gorgeous with interior plumbing.

    I admit, my overactive, sexually centered mind never even thought of the possibility and I certainly am not going to be the one to tell women what they can and can't do. Shit, I barely get a say-so in my own house. LOL

    Live and learn, there's something out there for everyone. :0)