When my honey mentioned that we should think about starting a family, I had to stop and think about all the things I believed made me a butch…back in the day.
You know, in the day when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we all lived by the unspoken butch code. I’m sure femmes had one, too. Truth be told, I think theirs was a little more sophisticated than ours.
We all knew our roles, and we lived up to them, quite well, if I may say so. It was the day and age when butches were often seen doing some kind of menial labor for a pretty woman so that the femme wouldn’t break a nail or get dirty or an even bigger secret…if we played it right, the femme would be so impressed with us that we’d get a little something-something for our efforts. Yeah, we had ulterior motives. I won’t even try to deny it, now.
Today, some odd years later, I realize that our wonderful, femme, sex-goddesses talked us into or even seduced us to do stuff for them because they didn’t know how to do it, themselves, and of course, that got me thinking.
Thinking about having our own kids and it made me wonder if we, the butches, really did the femmes a favor by being their “Butchies in shining armor”? Now, now…I admit that most of the time the gratitude the femmies rewarded us with was…um…nice…but, did we really help them out by not allowing them to learn how to do some of these things on their own?
And I am NOT suggesting that butches abandon their notion of helping out our femme counterparts. We must always remember our manners and our good will of which, I will discuss on another post.
If we have a daughter, I don’t ever want my daughter to have to depend on anyone for anything. Period, end of discussion, so naturally I will teach her everything I know. Then my wife pipes up with, but what if she turns out to be a little girlie-girl, and she likes makeup and having her nails done and wants to wear high heels and short skirts?
Stop…stop…please! A girlie-girl? Really? What the hell do I do with a girlie-girl for a kid?
For me, growing up and settling down put a little kink in my grandiose butchie plans. Life isn’t as clear cut as I once believed it to be and after some serious soul searching, because I still do believe the butch-femme roles have a place in our community, I’ve decided that when the day finally comes that I am a parent, I will do for her what I didn’t do for all the other femmes in my past.
I know that now is not the time, nor today the day, but would it make me a little less of a butchie if I taught my daughter how to change a tire, and how to fix a car, and how to use power tools, and then took her for a manicure and bought her a new pair of heels? Um…yeah…forget the short skirt – ain’t happening! I know how butches and men think.
BTW: My wifey was impressed that I willingly came to this mature decision...on my own…and…um…has rewarded me…nicely, and that’s what I call a damn good day :0)