Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Make me a little less butchie?

When my honey mentioned that we should think about starting a family, I had to stop and think about all the things I believed made me a butch…back in the day.

You know, in the day when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we all lived by the unspoken butch code. I’m sure femmes had one, too. Truth be told, I think theirs was a little more sophisticated than ours.

We all knew our roles, and we lived up to them, quite well, if I may say so. It was the day and age when butches were often seen doing some kind of menial labor for a pretty woman so that the femme wouldn’t break a nail or get dirty or an even bigger secret…if we played it right, the femme would be so impressed with us that we’d get a little something-something for our efforts. Yeah, we had ulterior motives. I won’t even try to deny it, now.

Today, some odd years later, I realize that our wonderful, femme, sex-goddesses talked us into or even seduced us to do stuff for them because they didn’t know how to do it, themselves, and of course, that got me thinking.

Thinking about having our own kids and it made me wonder if we, the butches, really did the femmes a favor by being their “Butchies in shining armor”? Now, now…I admit that most of the time the gratitude the femmies rewarded us with was…um…nice…but, did we really help them out by not allowing them to learn how to do some of these things on their own?

And I am NOT suggesting that butches abandon their notion of helping out our femme counterparts. We must always remember our manners and our good will of which, I will discuss on another post.

If we have a daughter, I don’t ever want my daughter to have to depend on anyone for anything. Period, end of discussion, so naturally I will teach her everything I know. Then my wife pipes up with, but what if she turns out to be a little girlie-girl, and she likes makeup and having her nails done and wants to wear high heels and short skirts?

Stop…stop…please! A girlie-girl? Really? What the hell do I do with a girlie-girl for a kid?

For me, growing up and settling down put a little kink in my grandiose butchie plans. Life isn’t as clear cut as I once believed it to be and after some serious soul searching, because I still do believe the butch-femme roles have a place in our community, I’ve decided that when the day finally comes that I am a parent, I will do for her what I didn’t do for all the other femmes in my past.

I know that now is not the time, nor today the day, but would it make me a little less of a butchie if I taught my daughter how to change a tire, and how to fix a car, and how to use power tools, and then took her for a manicure and bought her a new pair of heels? Um…yeah…forget the short skirt – ain’t happening! I know how butches and men think.

BTW: My wifey was impressed that I willingly came to this mature decision...on my own…and…um…has rewarded me…nicely, and that’s what I call a damn good day :0)


  1. Hey Annie!

    Have you ever sat down and really thought about this kiddie of yours. The girlie girl, or the tomboy, or whatever she may turn out to be? I mean, she'll most likely have an opinion or two of her own. LOL She might adore wearing heels, long talon-like nails, makeup to die for and...have a pair of paper coveralls in the trunk in order not to muss up her duds when that freakin tire goes flat.

    We can do it all. We are women.


  2. I was a tomboy. A country girl who hunted, fished and ran around in the woods all day... I was also a smart girl, too... I was the only girl with all those boys and a couple of butches too! ;-) (Best of both worlds, hehehe)
    I learned a lot about how to deal with men and trust me, I knew when to turn on the feminine charm to get out of changing a tire or two in my day.(Although I could do it myself quite well)
    My two sons can cook because I REFUSE to have them dependent on some airhead girl to feed them, and my girls can mow the grass and take out the trash.
    I have one girlie girl who comes with all the accessories and one tomboy who still paints her toes and wears mascara... neither will wear dresses unless they have to, but Lord help me in the summer when the swimsuits come out!!! GRRR!

  3. You girls are killing me. Girlie-girls can be what ever they want, but I will not give into the idea of the short skirts. I will not...I will not...I will not. *stomps foot* :0)

  4. So are you saying I can't buy your would be daughter a cheerleader outfit? ;)

    I was always a girly girl wearing dresses and makeup but as a kid I was playing in the dirt with the boys in my dress...so it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to be I guess.

    I was horrified, and still am, at the idea of my girls wanting to do sports! UGH sports hell no! Give me a short skirt over watching basketball any day lol. Yet good parents grit their teeth and suffer for the good of their children discovering who they are on their own. And after the age of like 10 they will tell you what they want and it never has anything to do with what you want for them anyway :)

    Good luck darling

  5. Courtney, that's not what I'm saying at all...just remember, nothing above the knees, dear.

    Now, I realize that I can't count on wifey when all she says to me is, "we'll see," whenever I comment on our would be daughter. :0)

    We'll see, what? If I change my mind?

  6. lol my dad always said "I have a shot gun and a backhoe" hehee but he was really just a big softie, I am sure you would be the same way.

  7. Shhh...let's keep that little softie thing to ourselves. :0)

  8. Okay Annie. I will not spread the word that you are in fact one big marshamallow stuffed pillow, that will stay our secret. I am sure that you would make an awesome parent. I raised three girls, one girlie-girl, one tomboy and one a little of column 'A' a little of column 'B'. All you can do is give them the space and the opportunity to be who they want to be. And who ever said you couldn't fix a tire in lace trimmed coveralls?

    You friend Jojo Brown

  9. Ah, Jojo, I knew I could count on you to keep that marshmallowy secret between us. LOL

    Thanks for your confidence in my future parental skills. I know that with friends like you guys, you'll help me be the best parent possible, some day :0)

    For the record, if I ever saw a woman dressed in lace trimmed coverall's I think I'd drive off the road! That would be a sight to see! LOL

    hugs, hon!