Friday, July 29, 2011

Break up Do’s and Don'ts

Chillax! We are NOT breaking up. However, we have seen a few, long term relationships call it quits after spending years together.
I’m not going to place blame anywhere. Couples who have been together for a while, ahem…more than a few years, know that relationships are a constant flux of falling in and out of love with each other. The trick is to be patient enough to fall back in love with your honey, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes we grow so far apart that the best thing to do is to separate. It happens.
So, it brings me to this post because quite honestly someone has to be the voice of reason. I’ve had a few break-ups of my own and hind-sight, fore-sight, I can share this with you now.

1) Please, for the love of all you value and hold dear, avoid the stereotypical DYKE DRAMA! Chances are that whatever you think you’re going to accomplish, will probably backfire and either get you labeled a crazy ass bitch, get you arrested or get you involuntarily committed for 72 hours.
None of which is good. Trust me.
2) During the breakup, DON’T and I repeat, DON’T keep your soon to be ex’s shit, hostage! It’s not healthy for either one of you and let’s get honest, that’s just a fucked up thing to do. Revenge you say? Really? Nope. It’s BIG time manipulation.

 Do yourself a favor and make a clean cut. You don’t need little reminders of how your life was with so-and-so, especially if you already have a new girl in your life. It’s over. Be over. Move on.
3) Don’t call your ex unless you are ready to lose every ounce of dignity you have left. Again, It’s over. Be over. Move on.
4) Feel your feelings. Embrace your sadness and welcome your grief. You’re going to hurt, after all, you did love that person at one time or currently still do love them. It’s okay to feel. It’s NOT okay to do crazy shit! Again, crazy shit falls under DYKE DRAMA that we are currently going to avoid, right?

 5) Don’t think you can “be friends” right after a break up. It doesn’t typically work that way. Yes, it can happen but it takes time. Sometimes it takes years before two people can put their differences and their hurt aside and become friends in the first place.

 6) During a breakup, you will both be a little nuts. That’s okay as long as you don’t go insane. Keep your friends in the loop. They will help you establish a good timeline and alibi if you need one.
Well, there you go. I got nothing else for you right now other than the fact that it’s been almost 7 days since I’ve had a cigarette. :0)

Monday, July 25, 2011

2 days and 21 hours…

untitled Since my last cigarette and everyone in the household is still alive!


I never thought I’d see the day when I would decide to quit smoking, but after 30 plus years and who know how many thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, I willingly handed over to Big Tobacco Companies (well, only one in particular) I am ready to make a stand!

Can I say that I will be successful? No! That would be as intelligent as saying I could guess the next big Lotto numbers, but I can say this is the first real effort I have put into quitting.

This time my efforts are with the help of the most ever popular e-cigarette and NO! I am not saying that it is a healthy choice to smoking. The only healthy choice to smoking is not smoking at all. <— Okay, CYA legal shit out of the way…

As I said earlier, 2 days and 21 hours into this and I still want a cigarette. It’s scary how addictive I actually am to these damn things. At this point, I haven’t experienced the breathing gets easier or the sense of smell returning nor everything tastes better. What I have experienced is the anxiety, the nervousness, the irritability, the utter and complete tiredness and the realization that with each passing hour… sometimes minutes… the cravings aren’t lasting as long.

I realize that it’s going to take some time for me to detox from the 4000+ chemicals in cigarettes. Yes. Yea. I’m no fool.

The first 24 hours I white-knuckled it through the day, puffing away on my little e-cig hoping to ease the cravings. My second 24 hours, was better. Not as good as I would have liked, but definitely more manageable. Notice I said manageable, not perfect.

Wish me luck :0)

Friday, July 22, 2011


 Okay, for whatever reason, it seems that smoking is synonymous with being a lesbian.Yes, really. Pay attention to the movies and TV shows. Every time you see a lesbian, you also see a cigarette dangling from her lips.

Oh, it’s not just about the times either. Even in the newest movie, “The Kids Are All Right” they smoked. Good movie, by the way.

So, smoking makes lesbians look cool. Smoking makes Dykes look meaner. Yea. Yea. I can look mean without a cigarette.

Not to long ago, I decided to quit smoking and after 30 something years of feeding my bad habit, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and no, it’s not a lit cigarette. LOL

I have been using the e-cigarette to curb my desires for nicotine. No, it’s not without its dangers, but neither is smoking. And no! It hasn't been easy! Trust me.

I am down from a pack – pack and a half to 5 cigarettes a day. That’s right, 5 and I intend to cut that number down, too. Yea me!

I’m not going to tell you, you need to quit. It’s a personal choice, but I can tell you that if you’re as cheap as I am, you’ll see the benefits almost immediately. And for me, money is a great motivator, especially since I was paying almost $10.00 for a pack. Do the math…

Here’s where I’m supposed to say, if I’m cranky or irritable please forgive me, but I’m not going to. Maybe I’ve dealt with my non smoking friends irritability for so long, I just want to be fucking cranky.

Either way, buckle your seat belts and say a prayer for me, I’m in it for the long haul. Oh yeah...would anyone be willing to bail me out if I lose my mind?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Family…enuf said?

PuchyI love my family, even those that I deem a threat to my sanity, but this isn’t about them. This time it’s about the one’s that I hold near and dear to my heart.

Take for instance, my Aunt Puchy, yes that’s really her name. Cubans have this way of nicknaming loved one’s the strangest, most unusual names. We have a Puchy, China, Happy, Nini, Duvy, but I’m getting off topic here.

My Aunt Puchy, who accepts my partner Jennifer with open arms is going to drive me crazy. I swear!

Puchy is of the belief that you don’t unnecessarily worry someone. Let me tell you how many problems that has caused and bless her heart, she doesn’t even realize the worry she’s caused some of us with that stupid mentality.

I just found out today that my Uncle Amado, no not a nickname, had surgery on Tuesday. Heart Surgery, no less!

So the conversation went something like this:

Puchy: Hello baby, everything is fine. (Big clue that something was wrong, but things are fine, NOW)

Me: Oh, what happened?

Puchy: I didn’t want to worry you, but the operation went good and your uncle is home now.

Me: What operation and when?

Puchy: On Tuesday, he had a little problem with his heart, that’s all, but he’s home now and doing good.

Me: What little problem?

Puchy: With his heart. (This is usually the point where I start yanking my hair out)

Me: Okay. Why not tell me on Tuesday, like when he was having surgery?

Puchy: I didn’t want to worry you.

Me: I see, and what would have happened if things didn’t go well in surgery? Would you have told me then.


Me: Hello?

Puchy: Well, I think if he had died, you couldn’t have done anything about it. So why worry you.


I love my aunt, but really?

Anyone else feel out of their league when talking with the elders in your family? Geesh!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Frustration’s a brewing…

Banghead here1
I think I’ve been a lesbian too long. Let me explain…

I’m writing the second Carly Bright book and unlike my Hightower Series where my characters are all lesbians, Carly is… well…she’s Carly. Not a lesbian, not straight and heaven forbid, not confused either. Carly is a sexual being. How’s that?

Carly tends to go where her heart follows, be it female or male. The problem is that my heart isn’t following her, how shall I say? Her male itch for attention.

Nope. Nada. Not at all. Zilch. I’m a blank.

What sucks about this?
Well, I’m glad you asked. What sucks is that Carly Bright seems to have better sells with the free-to-be-sexuality than my lesbian series does.

I wish I could focus strictly on my female/female stories but either, A- I’m not getting word out to my Sisters that my stories exist, B- my Sisters don’t want to spend the money, C- I have better following and support from the straight community (which would be sad) or D- my stories suck donkey dick.

So, in the process of trying to write CB, I’m trying to remember what it was like to be…on the other side of the fence. Yeah, not coming to me as clearly as I thought it would. And please, no visuals.

The life of a lesbian, paranormal, erotica writer isn’t always glamorous :0(

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I don’t normally do this, but…

american-flag-2a The first and most important thing I want to stress is that this is solely my opinion and my opinion only.

The mornings headline in the Advocate caught my attention.

Gays Join in Protest of Ga. Immigration Law

What? I thought. This must be some kind of mistake…

“An LGBT contingent joined in a march Saturday in Atlanta to protest Georgia’s new immigration law, which opponents consider racist, the GA Voice reports.”
Blah, blah, blah, blah… “Thousands of people — estimates ranged from 8,000 to 14,000 — participated in the protest at the state capitol, calling for repeal of the law. Georgia is one of several states, including Arizona, Utah, and Indiana, that have recently adopted laws aimed at addressing illegal immigration, claiming the federal government is not doing enough.”
Blah, blah, blah…”Among the provisions allowed to stand, one makes it a felony to use false information or documentation when applying for a job, and another sets up an immigration review board to look into complaints about government officials not complying with state laws on illegal immigration.”
Okay. I realize that I may earn me some not-so-happy-points with what I’m about to say, but nonetheless, it needs to be said.
What the hell is the gay community thinking? Really? Have we, as a whole LOST OUR FUCKING COLLECTIVE MINDS!
Being an out and proud lesbian, I stand strongly with providing equality and fairness to all. I have done my share of marches, protests and what-nots. I have stood tall, and strong, in the face of adversity and I will continue to do so, but I will NOT fight for the rights of Illegal Immigrants to continue sneaking across our borders, using our resources, taking our jobs and bringing their, holier than thou, I deserve to be here attitudes with them!
Come here legally, get a social security number, get a job, contribute back to our economy and I will support your right to be here, as strongly as I support the gay and lesbian right to equality.
My family came here from Cuba while the “Castro regime” was killing innocent people. My family crammed on a ship, packed like sardines to sail across the 90 miles of ocean to save their lives.
My family came here, to the United States and respected the law. They LEGALLY took residency. I am the first generation American from a long line of Cubans and Spaniards. I get it!
Again, I strongly believe in people coming to the UNITED STATES for a better way of life. I have no issues with that.

Many people have faced unsurmountable adversities to come to the United States, and they did it LEGALLY. I have little tolerance for someone who believes they can break our laws and sneak across our borders like a thief in the night then demand all the rights of a United States Citizen.  If you want to be a citizen or resident, honor our Nation and it's people by coming here legally.

Gay rights and illegal immigration are two separate issues and should NEVER have been intertwined.